The road from here to there
by Monroe Kay
Summary: The long drives, the trees blurring by day after day made her think of things she wish she wouldn't. Effycentric.


**Comfort:** Effy felt the comfort of his arms around her, and for one single moment, allowed herself to be happy. Then she rolled over, releasing his hold.

**Kiss:** They say that kisses of love were supposed to be tender. But she believed that love was a monster that devoured everything. So his hungry, urgent kisses were her kisses of love.

**Soft: **His skins was rough and calloused under her soft smooth skin. His mouth rough against hers. It was all so wrong that it was right.

**Pain:** All she ever caused was pain. Tony, Freddy, Katie, Emily, she had even hurt him before. But he caused almost as much destruction as her, that's why she felt comfortable around him. Together they could destroy the world.

**Potatoes:** She munched on a bag of Lays potato chips as they drove. She didn't know where they were, she didn't know where they were going. In her mind they were driving into the horizon, and leaving nothing but shambles behind.

**Rain:** Rain was always her favorite thing. It could be gentle enough to cleanse everything. It could be treacherous enough to destroy whole cities. Sometimes she would go out in the middle of a storm, sneak out her window, stand on the roof and look up at the sky, letting the droplets pound her face and let out one of her slow demure smiles.

**Chocolate:** Chocolate in bed, wasn't that the thing that sickening romantic couples in black and white movies did. Cook popped a square of Hershey's chocolate in her mouth. She let it melt on her tongue, and then smiled as she kissed him. The chocolate staining her lips.

**Happiness:** Effy saw Katie happy when she was controlling everyone, mostly Freddy. Life was on her terms. She saw Emily happy when she finally got Naomi. She saw Pandora happy when she was in Thomas' arm. She saw Tony happy, when everything worked out for him in the end. Cook was ecstatic when he was out destroying everyone's life, even his own, but he was never happy. That's why she liked him.

**Telephone:** She chucked her cell phone out the window after only two miles driving with him. She wanted to leave everything about the life that she fucked up behind. She wanted to drive to Antarctica where there was no one for her to lose, and no one for her to love.

**Ears:** She put on a pair of black onyx stud earrings. Every outfit she put on was centered on those earrings. No one really knew how hard she tried.

**Name:** Elizabeth Cook. Something about it sounded wrong. Something about it sounded right.

**Sensual:** Everything in her life was supposed to be sexual, not sensual. When his touch became soft, she couldn't handle it. Everything had to be hard and rough, like her life until now.

**Death:** She lived like she was dead. That way when she died, it was like she was never there.

** Sex:** That's what it started out as, and she was determined to keep it that way as she pinned him to a wall in the bathroom at some club. She had to keep it simple.

** Touch:** She would never admit it to anyone; she would rarely even admit it to herself. But sometimes his touch sent shivers up her spine.

**Weakness:** She didn't have one, she kept on telling herself. But inside she knew it was the fact that she cared too much, when she pretended not to care at all.

**Tears:** He was inside getting gas, in some god forsaken town she couldn't even remember the name of. When he came back, he saw two tears making there way down her face. He kissed them away, and she smiled. Truly smiled.

** Speed:** Speed, hash, xannies, pot, alcohol, x, it all helped take the edge off of life. It made it easier for her to pretend.

** Wind:** She felt the wind in her hair for the past week. The passenger's seat had become her home. It was the only place she felt safe from the world. In that cozy seat, next to him.

**Life:** Life was a waste of time. So they wasted it away. In sleazy bars, cheap motel rooms, never staying in one place for long. They were both just waiting for life to end.

**Freedom:** She should feel like she was free. Free from everything she left behind. But instead it clung to her firmly, refusing to let go no matter how far she traveled.

**Jealousy:** That's what fucked it all up. They all wanted her. The little green monster infiltrated their tight knit group. She knew at some point they all hated her for tearing everything apart. Sometimes she hated herself.

**Hands:** His hand held hers a lot now. When they were driving, when she was sleeping, when they were walking.

** Forever:** She couldn't run forever, but she could try.

**Taste:** His taste was familiar to her. It was comfort now. His kiss sedated her wandering and tortured mind.

**Devotion:** He picked her up at a moment notice. It didn't matter what had happened. The day he completed to the list, he signed his soul over to her with it.

**Blood:** No matter how many times she washed her hands, she could still see it, feel it, and taste it. She scrubbed until her hands were raw, but all she saw was blood.

**Sickness:** When they were a few miles away from the camp site, she asked him to pull over. She stood on the side of the road and puked, then just lay there, feeling dirtier than she looked.

** Melody:** She heard him humming in her sleep. She smiled and kept her eyes closed. It was a comforting sound.

**Star:** She knew some of the stars that she saw seemed so bright, when they had already died and the world just couldn't see it yet. She was one of those stars.

**Home:** It would seem as though they would never settle down anywhere. But she knew they didn't need to. He was her home, and she was his.

**Waves:** She woke up to the sea lapping at her feet. She looked to her left and could not find him, she looked to his right and saw nothing but sand. In a panic she stood up, and there he was, a few yards up staring out into the sea. For that moment she was alone, and she was lost.

**Confusion:** She never knew what she was doing, and that was the fun in her life.

**Fear:** Effy Stonem had no fear. Effy Stonem had no fear. Effy Stonem had no fear. Effy Stonem was afraid to be alone.

**Thunder: **She heard the creak of the cheap box spring mattress they were sleeping on. The storm had not woken him though. Nothing but the sound of her voice could wake him anymore.

**Bonds:** Sometimes she missed Katie's annoying voice. She missed Thomas' deep skin against his bright smile. She even missed Pandora's incent rambling. Things were silent now.

**Market:** She wondered if she and Cook would ever be one of those middle age couples sitting over bacon and eggs, shaking their head at the stock market numbers of the day.

T**echnology:** She hadn't made a phone call in months. She picked up the phone and dialed, she didn't breathe as she heard it start to ring. As she heard "Hello?" she hung up.

**Gift:** He brought home gifts. Half full bottles of strong concoctions, pretty colored pills. But this time he brought home something different. It was a simple bracelet, made of hemp and plain. It was perfect as she tied it around her ankle.

**Smile:** Her smile was only real in those hours of the night where no one can see it. When he was passed out at 4 am, she would look at him, and her muscles would pull into a smile that no one would ever see.

**Innocence:** She spent her nights with a different set of drunks and junkies. She thought it would be a nice experiment to spend a night at the local towns youth group, trying to pretend to be something that she never was.

**Completion:** She would never be fully complete, but he helped fill the void a bit.

**Clouds:** The clouds were getting darker, the seasons were changing, and she was still running.

** Sky:** She looked up and realized, even the birds were chained to the sky.

**Heaven:** She listened to the minister drown on about heaven. Cook thought she was at the market buying food. Her heaven was sitting down by the docks, with a bottle of tequila.

**Hell:** She had dreams of fire and brimstone. But she woke up to love.

**Sun:** She hated the daylight, it made people seem ugly. It made people seem real.

**Moon:** She let her feet dangle in the water. The pool of the motel was littered with leaves and insects. The reflection of the mood rippled as she kicked her legs.

**Hair:** Her hair was tangled, and dirty. But he still touched it as if it was made of silk.

**Supernova: **"What did I do right, for the gods to give me something so beautiful" he whispered in her ear one night, when he though she was asleep.


End file.
